The Sacred Music Coach » influence

We can be powerful without being perfect

Carl — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 03:14:16 +0000

My colleague Tony made this observation in a discussion last week:

“We can be powerful without being perfect.”

It really struck me as an important concept, one that I need to constantly remember on my journey of life.

Like everyone, I think, I get hung up on the idea of achieving perfection. Nothing wrong with that – it’s what we’re here for. But somehow the concept of being imperfect has been linked with powerless.

And when I think of it, the logic is obviously flawed. The people who have had the most impact on my life have been far from perfect – and in fact, their imperfections are often a reason why they’ve affected me so much.

And the people who are most powerful in the world, in society, in any group you can think of – they’re nowhere near perfect either. They have certain attributes that I may want to model, but perfect? No.

So, when you get depressed on how your flaws seem to be holding you back:

You don’t have to be perfect to be powerful.

Thanks for that, Tony!

Trust is the word, again

Carl — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 19:43:44 +0000

Back in November we got people from all the parishes in Fort Collins together to sing sacred music for Mass. That was so wonderful, we’re going to do it again! We’re looking at the end of February, at my home parish.

One of the challenges is to make the offer to our pastor, and to the person who normally leads music for that Mass, in such a way that they’re likely to be excited about this opportunity. I’ll be focusing on how this can help make the Mass a special liturgical experience, build relationships with the other parishes, and give an opportunity to promote truly sacred music.

When we got together to make plans, it was interesting to see how hard it was for the three of us to make decisions. Each of us has radically different expertise, and nobody is the clear decision maker. We’re each trying to bring our gifts, contribute ideas and observations, and support each other in achieving our various goals. Goals which aren’t always clearly articulated, of course.

But it works! We focused on what would be the best fit for the second Sunday of Lent, for the skill of the singers, for the pastor and the congregation, and for the limited amount of practice time that we’ll have.

Again, it comes down to trusting in the Holy Spirit.

Honey or vinegar

Carl — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 03:49:09 +0000

A colleague today raised an interesting question which caused me to start thinking pretty deeply. Here’s the problem: How do we get someone to fix something that they’re satisfied with, but we’re not? If they have control of the situation, and they’re satisfied with it, it’ll take a lot of concerted effort to get them to change.

This can be especially true in a church context, because there are significant power relationships at work, and deep emotions. Both of these are even more exaggerated for church musicians.

So let’s start off with that well-worn phrase, “it’s easier to catch flies with honey than with vinegar.” It has a core of truth, which is that people are more likely to cooperate when you’re creating a cooperative relationship rather than confronting them.

But it’s more than that If someone is satisfied with their situation, then it’s difficult to give them enough “sweetness” to want to change. So here’s where a deeper truth enters in:

People want help, not barriers.

Let’s say that you’re dissatisfied with the music in your church, but aren’t in a direct position to change it. That’s a situation that many readers can relate to.

What does the pastor, or the director of music, need help with?

Picking music that people don’t complain about
Fitting music to the liturgy (but there are many different views about what this means!)
Finding talented and spiritual musicians to play and sing
Complying with guidance of church hierarchy, liturgical committees, and so on
Doing all of this, regularly, week after week, year after year, in addition to all the other tasks

These are not insignificant issues! So the leaders need help, and here’s the trick. Help them to address the needs they know they have.

If you try to convince them they have NEW needs, you’re just adding more work – that’s not helping. What you want to do is to reduce their works by addressing their needs.

So first, you must find out what they think their needs are. You might have your own opinions, but they’re probably a bit different than the way they understand the situation. The fact that you’re dissatisfied probably means you don’t fully understand their needs and the way they think. Almost certainly there’s a disconnect of some sort. So ask. Listen. And learn without judging.

Then, only then, you can start to figure out how you can help them address those needs. And if you can truly help them, without creating new problems, they’re much more likely to accept your help.

Sure, it’s work. Yes, it can be painful. It doesn’t always work.

Humans are like that.

But many times it does work, and can lead to glorious, creative solutions.